Pacing and leading
This exercise builds upon the earlier exercise from week one.
There are various ways in which to pace a client or colleague. In some situations you will be able to do it through language, in others, through following movements or habits. Breathing is a very powerful way to pace. This exercise will be done by observation of how your partner sits - mirroring - and through simply copying any involuntary movements or habits. Look for blink rate or the way in which a hand or foot moves in regular patterns.
1. Begin a conversation with a friend or colleague. For instance find their likes and dislikes for food or sport. Try to make it important, but not too passionate.
2. Mirror their sitting / standing position - change position gradually as they shift do not mimic.
3. Notice any regular patterns of movement. Hand movements, foot twitching, blinking etc.
4. Without being too obvious begin to copy it. Use the same rhythms as your opposite number. Keep the conversation going.
5. Begin to make your partners movement before they do, leading the interplay.
6. Soon it will be difficult to see who is making the movements first
7. If you are tuned in properly then they will start to follow you.
8. Now, when you are sure that they are following you introduce a very subtle change.
9. Have the other person follow your movements.
10. Now you are leading the whole interaction.
You will probably find that the first few times that it does not work too well, with practice you will begin to gain regular success. When you have done this you will help to generate successful outcomes to many meetings with clients and colleagues.
Mirroring a personís movements is very complementary to them. It shows that you are on their wave length and in harmony with them.