Anger can be a very debilitating emotion for some people. For many anger can be a motivation to get something important done, a problem resolved or an irritation removed.
To manage anger can seem a tall order. It is possible to reduce the levels of expressed anger and violent outbursts.
Where anger is a problem it usually stems back into the past when other peoples actions caused a build up of unresolved residual anger. For those who suffer this type of concern sudden uncontrollable out burst can be a major problem. For both the individual and those around him or her.
When I deal with anger it tends to be a larger number of men than women. It could well be simply that anger expressed by men can be more threatening that expressed by women
The person who has these major blow – ups is usually, in most situations, a loving and caring thoughtful individual. BUT during some situations something triggers an out burst.
It can be almost anything for some people. For others it is something specific.
For example I worked with a client who got very angry when his partner went out with friends. He became very anxious and on her return became abusive. This related directly to his own sense of esteem and jealousy. In addition he had anger which stemmed back into his child hood
Another client would seem to blow for very little reason when ever he was challenged on some small issue he would get it all out of proportion.
Often Alcohol fuels these situations.
These situations can become very damaging and when they begin to happen regularly they destroy relationships. This all because a natural and useful emotion is out of hand. Not because someone is to blame but because the angry person has over the years learned to operate this way.
By starting to understand ones anger one can begin to control it. With time it is possible to reach an understanding of your own anger and then reduce the number and severity of outbreaks. It is even possible to begin to use your anger constructively to get things done. A prime example of this would be Bob Geldorf who has used his anger about world poverty to change awareness and force politicians to acknowledge the need for change
The root of many angers is in the past. Often in childhood. Sometimes this explosive nature can be tracked back to unhappiness in childhood. At other times it relates to learning how to be confrontational from an angry parent. In some cases even more complicated, compounding, experiences can be found.
What is happening is that the angry person is reacting to past events not the simple matter in hand. It simply gets out of hand because past experience intrude into the present.Can it be changed? Yes!
Sometimes the simple understanding of the structure of this mental pattern begins to break the deep seated mental programme. And then through special emotional releasing techniques, we can begin to change the anger into a more manageable form. Learning as you do that you can manage your emotions in a more comfortable way.
I can speak with experience here for I reduced my own anger to become a more manageable emotion. Once you learn that your anger can be reduced then new patterns of behaviour can be developed.
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